Keep On Forgiving

I came across this interesting article on the "Women After God's own heart!" facebook page and thought it would be worth sharing it with you:

It can be very hard to grant forgiveness. Many times when we are wronged we want to strike back. If we feel justified we think this is right. We use the "eye for an eye" philosophy. Jesus showed his disciples that this isn't the way of a loving God and that we should, like God, rise to the higher standard of mercy.

At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, "Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?"
Jesus replied, "Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21-22 - The Message)

Why is it sometimes so hard to forgive those who do us wrong? I can think of some reasons, justifications I've sometimes made for withholding forgiveness.

It is humbling.

We have to surrender our attitude of being right, or righteous. Let's face it, sometimes we like to feel a little bit superior. When someone offends and we are "sure" we are in the right we often want to gloat over our "goodness". We feel obliged to teach the other a lesson. This arrogance can blind us to our own need for forgiveness.

We don't like the person who wronged us.

It is easy to forgive those we love and are not angry with. For example, when your children are very young and do something wrong, like maybe telling a little lie. We remember what it was like to do the same. And we know they are still learning and are still young and for the most part innocent. But if we already do not like the one who offends, then like the cruel servant in the story Jesus tells in Matthew(18:21-35), we might demand that they suffer. We want them to pay the price for their sins. However, God is full of mercy and we forget that He so frequently forgives us. We need to extend the same mercy.

The person I need to forgive shows no remorse.

This is a tough one. Sometimes I think, why should I forgive someone when they are not sorry? In fact, they seem to gloat over the wrong they've done me! That may be true. But Jesus calls us to a higher standard. He wants me to rise above "tit for tat" and "even Steven". As hard as it is to forgive someone like this, I must remember that the way of our loving God is better than holding a grudge or nursing resentment.

Ultimately we must remember that turning from an attitude of vengeance to one of forgiveness softens our heart. We develop compassion. We learn to separate the sinner from the sin. We recognize that we all need forgiveness, that God can and will forgive us, and how we forgive is the measuring stick for our own forgiveness. This doesn't mean God withholds forgiveness; rather our capacity for receiving it is dependent on how much we willingly forgive those who wrong us, regardless of how many times they do it.